August is Women’s Month in South Africa.  Attention is given to the achievements and contributions of women and many programs commemorate the 1956 march of 20,000 women on the Union Buildings at Pretoria in protest Pass Laws.

I spent the entire month of August in South Africa doing various presentations, workshops, and discussions with women about leadership roles and navigating careers. While there, I went on absolutely fantastic game drives seeing wonderful animals, and most spectacularly, 4 of the Big 5 Game (leopards, lions, elephants, rhinoceros, buffalo). The leopard was the only one of the Big 5 we did not see, but there were signs leopards were present.  The carcass of a wildebeest sat high from the ground, prominently wedged between two branches of a tree.  According to Sam, our Game Drive Ranger, only the leopard has the strength and agility to take such a massive kill to the trees.

We had seen several wildebeest on our drives.  They are huge animals with long heads, beards and mane, and sloping backs.  Although in the antelope family, the wildebeest is not thought to be very attractive.  They seem to be made up of body parts of different animals that don’t quite go together.  Many think them big and stupid.

At another point on our Game Drive, we came across not one lion, but a whole pride (a group of lions forming a social unit).  There they were in the middle of the road, just as relaxed as they could be — lions, lionesses, cubs!  Then I saw him. Off to himself in the brush was a lion having a morning meal of wildebeest.

What was it with these wildebeest?  Why were they such easy prey?  First the carcass of the wildebeest in the tree, and now this, a lion having wildebeest for breakfast.

Ranger Sam helped us understand how wildebeest became “Easy Kill,” especially for lions on the reserve:

• Every pride has established methods of “easy kill” that are passed on from generation to generation within the pride

• At this particular game reserve, when lions first arrive, an electrified fence confines them to a certain area

• Once released to roam a much larger area, the lions remember lessons of the electrified fence

• They actually drive prey (like the wildebeest) into the fence, creating an “easy kill.”

I thought about the unwritten rules of business being passed from generation to generation. I thought about women and people of color not understanding and being driven into electrified workplace fences — “easy kill.”   I wondered what stopped the wildebeest from learning lessons of the electrified fence and passing those lessons on to other wildebeest.

We do not have to be like the wildebeest — “Easy Kill.”  We can and must model the ways of the lion pride and pass on the lessons of the workplace from one generation to the next.  Each one must teach one!   Become a mentor today!

I wrote this in 2011 as a Tribute in Memory of Easter Davis who passed away that year.  Easter was a master seamstress, designer, and couturier.  A needle, thread, and fabric in her hands became tools of an accomplished artist!

I was in South Africa working with women there when Easter passed.  While there, one question was asked repeatedly: What are the qualities needed to excel or become a leader in any field?  The answer I gave is one I have been thinking about for many years.  I told them three Cs and one R – COMPETENCE, CONFIDENCE, COURAGE, AND RESILIENCE.  Characteristics easily found in Easter Davis’s life story.

COMPETENCE.  You must be able to do well that which you claim to be proficient at doing - whatever your chosen field. Competence is not a fixed state.  It requires continuous sharpening of skills.  Never settle for “just okay.” Mediocrity never produces excellent results.

CONFIDENCE.  Confidence is supported by competence. Know what you know.  Know what you do not know.  Admitting what you do not know helps you avoid becoming arrogant.  Think about what you have already learned and accomplished.  You have the capacity to learn something new, do something different, or do the same thing differently.

COURAGE.  Like confidence, you nurture courage in the depths of your gut.  I do not know of any course you can take to get it.  Courage propels you to do the thing you feel you cannot do — To move forward even when you are frightened — To take a stand even when you are the only one — To launch a new idea or travel an uncharted path.

Competence, confidence, and courage.  The three Cs essential to excel or become a leader in any field.

Then there is the R – RESILIENCE. You may be old enough to remember a toy called “Punching Judy.” It was a large balloon thing with a painted clown face and body.  The bottom was round and weighted.  As a child, it was as tall as I was.  I would punch it hard and it would fall back, and then return to an upright position.  I would punch it harder; it would fall back and still return to upright.  I just loved that thing!

To excel in any field, and certainly to become a leader, you must recover from blows like a Punching Judy.  If you haven’t been psychologically or emotionally punched, disappointed or disillusioned, you haven’t lived long enough.  Perhaps you need to try something new and different.  Perhaps you need to take a stand for or against something.  You will feel the blows.  They will hurt.   But, there is joy and satisfaction in bouncing back, knowing you are competent, and you have the confidence and the courage to try it again – to go another round.

Wounded animals are the most dangerous animals.  Human animals are no exception. I learned this the hard way.

It was the 1970s and I was just the smartest, sassiest, cat’s meow.  I worked hard and delivered results.   So far so good.  The problem was I had a razor-sharp tongue with a will of its own. I was a mid-level employee, powerless and too low on the totem pole to take anyone out with my tongue.  I just wounded, and ended up wounding someone who had the power (or the connection to power) to take me out.

No one said a word.  No one pulled my coat. So on I went, working hard and speaking my mind.

Then it happened. My dream job became vacant.  That job was designed for my skills, my experience — that job was mine!  My credentials were in order.  The interview went exceptionally well.  The competition couldn’t touch me.  I DID NOT GET THE JOB.

Wow!  What a wake-up call.  In an earlier post, I spoke of “divine intervention.”  This is the experience I referenced.  At not 30 years of age, I knew exactly what I must do.  It had to be God.  How else would I have had the clarity of mind and presence to do what happened next?

I called the hiring manager and asked to see him.  He agreed.  I said:  “You know and I know I was the top candidate – at least on paper.  It is important for me to know what went wrong.  I promise you, whatever you say will not be repeated or come back to hurt you or the organization. I need to know because I am young enough and smart enough to fix it.”  Only God could have given me those words and touched the heart of the man hearing them.

The manager told me everything – exactly who blocked me and why.  The Blocker was very high in the organization.  Although I had not been disrespectful with the Blocker, I had wounded one of “his boys” — someone I considered grossly incompetent, a real target for my tongue.

I listened calmly and thanked the manager for trusting me. Everything he said was true. I had wounded others and put my career in danger.

While I could have remained with the organization and continued to do the job I was doing, that was not my vision of success. I resigned. The damage was too grave to repair, and I was unwilling to be locked in the same position for the foreseeable future. It was all so very clear. The organization would tolerate my behavior but would never reward it. I kept my word, said nothing of what I had learned, and used the lesson as a springboard to greater opportunities in other places.

Few of us have the power or the position to take others out in the workplace.  Extra care must be taken to avoid wounding others with careless words or deeds.  Keep your tongue bridled.  Wounded co-workers keep your career in danger.  If you think you are powerful enough to go after someone at work, think twice and be very sure you can take them out.  

One of the most striking discourses over the years is of the reproductive rights of women and how those rights are subordinate to the most pressing problem of the day.  I recently heard a young, well-educated woman say reproductive rights are secondary and she was more concerned about the economy.  Her focus was jobs!  She had somehow compartmentalized the two and appeared clueless about the connection.   If a woman does not control her reproductive reality she cannot control her economic reality.   The two are inextricably linked.

Perhaps this hard truth escapes those whose economic realities are full of options.  But for women who must work to support themselves, their children and families (either solely or with a spouse) having the right to determine what happens in their wombs – their reproductive rights – are as important on the path to sustained economic well-being as a good education, job opportunities, and even equal pay.

It boggles the mind to hear anyone, most especially women, speak as if reproductive rights and economic well-being are not connected.  I am old enough to remember the kinds of questions employers would routinely ask women about their child bearing plans before either hiring or promoting them.   Old enough to remember when women in the workplace were relegated to roles that never led to the C-Suite because they could not be counted on to be there for the long haul – “pregnancy and all”.

While today such questions about reproductive plans are considered out-of-bounds, the questions have not gone away.   Make no mistake, those questions are still being asked in not so open forums and still impact hiring and promotions. 

To be fair about it, employers want to know basically two things.  First, will maternity leave impact productivity in the short term? And second, will the return on investments in employees’ growth and development be realized in the long term?  Every woman must study her particular work environment and be very clear about how she will balance child bearing, child rearing, and career steering.  The ability to balance these three, hinges on a woman’s right to reproductive choices.  Most importantly, the ability to balance these three requires planning and forethought.

THE LESSONS:

• If a woman does not control her reproductive reality she cannot control her economic reality.

• Never let anyone make you believe the two are separate.

• The most “family-friendly” employers put productivity needs over parenting desires and demands.